Dear Diary : The Suicide

Dear Diary,

Remember i did have hope
and
life is not giving up !
-read my next part of this story.

Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.

Class 5th and story continues .........

I was 10 n half i remember just entered my 6th grade History, eco, geo, politics were my newest subject then . New class, New year ,new hopes that's how we start right? so did i .. i was happy to b in a new section though it was a "D" section . my bff was then there with me (u know who) and my mom got transferred back to us permanently i was appreciated for my handwriting and ma'am d****e  liked me then but as times change things go opp. i was least interested in history as the answers were too long , i never wanted to study too. i felt it a crap! then 1st unit came and I failed (quite obvio) but was a shock to me as i never failed n school result was a world to me then what bad could hav happened ma'am consoled me and i was crying i remember . diary , i was having a habit of writing whenever i am sad , so i tore a page wrote a suicidal letter as i was afraid of mom dad and what would other ppl tok about me , my aunt every sat. used to come over our place n used to say she's going to run away , she lies and stuff (all bad) since my mom had nobody as friends she was friends with her. so... wen i got failed i was like having many things in mind 1stly i used to think that my biggest jinx is my baby brother as everybody loves him more than me even my aunt used to b like he's cute, intelligent. and used to neglect me my father too is very obsessed,protected for my brother. my mom too used to tok to him more. i wasnt allowed to go to the park. or sit in hall with everyone when anyone would come home . and wen i asked the reason why mom used to say "b in ur limits  n stop questioning" yea whatever i wrote that time "i m going to  commit suicide as my parents don't love me and they're going to kill me wen they c my result  mom, dad , brother you never would have loved me but i always did n for your happiness m going away" that sudden moment ma'am saw me she wanted to snatch my page off but i had a grip to it too she then slapped me i took away the page read it loudly dragged me to the staff room (yea dragged me) and told evry single teacher there , i told her i wanted to write successful but i wrote suicide (i cant fool a teacher 30 years older to me) every teacher was talking about me , i was crying sobing. n many things happened .................

 LOng story diary sorry for not coming for these many days having problems and lods of work meet you tomorrow ..

BYE
LOVE xoxo
MAYURI 
21/10/2014